Competition - Dana's Lowerarchy of Needs

Competition and the Need to Compete

We would be hard-pressed to find a country or a culture anywhere on the planet that doesn’t engage in some form of competition. And I can’t possibly think of some of today’s activities which haven’t been turned into competition*. With TV and the majority of humans having the need to compete going hand in hand, many of today’s competitive “artistic” activities have turned into household words: “Dancing with the Stars”, “Inked” “America’s Next Top Model” and “Iron Chef” are typical examples.

The term and subsequent flamboyant show, “Iron Chef” was invented by the Japanese Fuji Network in 1993, and then adopted by the Food Network as a form of self-aggrandizement.

For a long time, it puzzled me what internal human drive is in place causing this very profound albeit important need for many to compete.

Speaking of Dancing with the Stars, some may remember hearing about the dancing marathons held during the depression age. As depicted in the 1969 Sydney Pollack film, “They Shoot Horses Don’t They?”, these dance contests were quite different than today’s competitions. Winning often meant survival! During a time when there were few jobs and many people were living in poverty, a winning couple could garner enough money to enable them or their family to make it… to buy food or to keep their home. Competing in dance competitions met a much different set of needs than it does today.

Growing up and later in life, my ultimate goal was to win the ultimate competition… the Olympics. I worked and trained very hard for many years to achieve my goal… and I actually got close. But I didn’t quite achieve my goal. After decades of heartache, frustration, financial and relationship loss, and of course many injury (some of which I carry to this day), I stopped and asked myself why, why, why? I came up with my own answers. What are yours?

As a former athletic competitor, I didn’t ponder why I felt the need to compete… and so fiercely at that. But as I evolved, I started to reflect on what that was all about. Why had I done this to myself?

Then, as this book took shape, I dug even deeper. As answers rose to my consciousness, I realized that the need to compete originated as a very important way of establishing boundaries and social structures, and without them, many civilizations would not have come into being.

However, as present civilizations… especially in developed countries, evolve, I sought to understand the needs driving those who engage in competitions. Let’s examine some simple questions… but are the answers so simple?

Allow me to ask questions about competing:

Why do we feel the need to compete?
When we win, do we feel “better” than our competitor?
When we win, do we feel better about ourselves?
While we’re competing, how do we feel about our competitor?
When we win, is our competitor now a “loser”?
How long does the winning feeling last?
How deep does the winning feeling go?
How badly do we feel when we don’t win?
Do we feel like a “loser”?
Do we need to win to feel important… and valuable?
When we were growing up, who was it that made us feel like we were a loser if we didn’t win?
Who was it that made us feel unimportant?
Who made us feel worthless (worth-less, less valuable… less than whom?)
When that person was growing up, who was it that made them feel like a loser if they didn’t win?
Do we identify with a favorite sports team?
Do we think of ourselves as “belonging to”, or as “part of” our favorite team? Do we say “my team won?”, “we won”… do we wear clothing or other items with “our” team logo?

The answers to all of these questions are vastly different for each of us… I encourage each reader to sit, clear their mind, and think about any question that resonate deeply. Does any question bring up sadness? Why?

Note: please don’t think you’re being judged here! Competition is part of most of our lives and does fill a function in society. I’m asking each of us to take a look at why we feel the need to compete, where did it come from and does it bring value to our lives.

*Some of my favorite competitions are: